Get out!

Why are ghosts always telling the living to “get out?”  You listen to EVPs and they’re usually telling you to leave.  They decide to scribble words in blood, or ectoplasm, or whatever, on the wall, and it tells us the same thing.  What’s up with that?  Why are ghosts so private?  Both demons and ghosts tend to use this popular refrain.  Why are they so guarded?  What are they hiding?

            Some ghosts haunt their former homes, and in their mind, the home belongs to them even after they’ve passed on.  So I can see where saying “get out” would be applicable.  But do ghosts really need that much privacy?  Couldn’t they just go into another room?  I understand that a ghost may not realize they’re dead.  It could be a very traumatizing experience: the whole, not being alive anymore thing.  So death may be hard for some to accept.  In that case, this command seems logical.  No one wants strange people invading and living in their home.  Yet the ghosts just seem to immediately try to oust the living occupants.  I’ve read many ghost stories and watched many ghost shows, more than I really care to admit; but I don’t remember a single ghost ever asking “why are you here?”  Or even, “Hey, what are you doing?”  They don’t try to call for the police or any other type of assistance, this isn’t Beetlejuice.   It’s just “get out” over and over again.  This makes me think that there is some awareness of death.  I think the ghost realizes that it can do things that the living can’t as well as can’t do things that the living can.  It probably takes a lot of energy to say anything that the living can hear, so it’s best to just spit out the demand.  Say this command works and the people leave?  What is the ghost going to go then?  Walk around naked?  Have a ghost party?  It seems to me that they would just wander around in limbo, bored.  But I guess it’s better to be bored than have squatters.

            Sometimes people claim that they have a feeling that something in a particular room doesn’t want them there, so they leave.  Then when they come back later, the feeling is gone.  What do some ghosts only sometimes not want to share the room?  We all have to have our private times, I suppose.

            Demons!  They are always trying to kick people out of places!  What are demons going to do by themselves with no one to torture, scare, or possess?  Do demons pass gas?  Are they shy about their problem?  Is that why they forcefully eject people from certain places?

            This is probably the most inane thing I’ve ever written.  But I just can’t believe that such a majority of ghosts want us to “get out.”  Maybe we’re misunderstanding the EVPs.   What sounds like get out?  Met trout?  Bet gout?  Debt doubt?  Pet lout?  Wet route?  Maybe not.  Why would ghosts say any of those things?

            So let’s move on and talk about EVPs.  Electronic voice phenomenon.  There’s some pretty compelling stuff out there.  EVPs can be recordings of anything from footsteps, to moans, to screams, to words, to full-fledged sentences.  There are some interesting and creepy recordings on the internet…look them up…I’ll wait…

            I hope you listened to some good ones.  I think they are all rather fun.  They’re also interesting when they seem to answer questions being asked by the living.  They’re creepy when they get growly or demanding.  The theory is that digital recorders, or, for that matter, almost anything that records, can pick up things unheard by naked human ears.  And when these recordings are played back, voices of the dead pop up.  I don’t know how people find these recordings.  I personally could not listen to dead air for hours in hopes of distinguishing a voice.  I can’t even hear most EVPs when they’re played and pointed out to me.  I mean, I hear a variance in the sound, or lack thereof, but I certainly can’t understand what on earth the people who made the recording thought they heard.  So most EVPs are a grasp out into nothing and returning with nothing.  What?  Never mind.  Some EVPS have to be misidentifications.  Real things make noise, and they might sometimes be mistaken for voices.  But for those really fuzzy, quiet ones, I hear nothing.  But my hearing isn’t so good to begin with, so who knows?

            For the ones I can hear and understand, though, it gets pretty interesting.  Is it really ghosts?  I’m not really sure about that.  I mean, think about it, there are millions of different kinds of signals shooting through the air at any given time.  Could EVPs be stray radio or TV signals?  Sounds plausible.  It could explain why people can’t hear them without a recorder, the waves may need some sort of electronic voice to be heard.  You can probably tell that I don’t really understand how these frequencies operate, but a girl can guess, can’t she?

            If they are noises from transmissions, then why do some EVPs seem to interact with the people doing the recording?  I’ve heard many EVPs that seem to answer questions being asked.  Then there’s the old, “get out.”  Unless people are broadcasting that particular phrase in many ways and frequencies, I think we’re hearing ghosts that want to be left alone.  Then again, sometimes the EVPs are like answers from the Oracle at Delphi; cryptic, unclear, very open to interpretation, in Greek.  A lot of EVPs I’ve listened to don’t directly answer the question being asked.  However, the logical and sometimes dishonest human mind can trick itself into thinking that it is a legitimate conversation.  This may prove that all EVPs are just radio waves.  It also may show that when you become a ghost, you play by different rules.  In the spirit realm, maybe there isn’t a need for direct and to-the-point answers.  The pace of the afterlife is slower.  There’s no need to hurry and make contact.  Spirits, to some, live on a higher plain of existence, maybe the strange words on the recording are slightly above true human comprehension.  That theory makes little sense to me, since many house spirits seem petty and mischievous, not heightened and enlightened.  But once again, I digress.  It’s hard to talk about EVPs without referencing particular ones or having some of my won.  But I don’t feel like doing the work and finding examples.  Go look yourself.  They’re neat, I swear.