When anyone mentions a monster, the thing that probably comes to the minds of most people are cryptids. They don’t know what a cryptid is, but they are still most likely conceptualizing the basic idea. A cryptid is essentially an unknown animal. Until an animal is discovered and given some fancy Latin name, it remains a cryptid. New species of animals are being found all the time; rodents, bugs, monkeys. They’re all out there, waiting for scientists, waiting for their brief moment on a news segment, waiting to get their special name. These are just plain old cryptids, nothing too exciting about that; but there are cryptids so elusive and strange, they develop their own lore and intrigue. These are cryptids who also happen to be monsters. You probably guessed by now that it’s Bigfoot that tops the list of cryptid monsters. This thing has gained tremendous popularity and notoriety without providing any substantial evidence that it exists. Almost every culture in the world has their own version of Bigfoot. It is known by many names: yeti, Sasquatch, yowie, skunk ape, Harry. They are all names for pretty much the same thing; a big gorilla-type creature that walks upright, is exceptionally muscular, and sports some very large feet. Not every version of Bigfoot is a towering giant, they range in size. There is the oxymoronic pygmy Bigfoot, to a ten-foot tall creature. They come in many different colors as well; from bright red hair to a very dark black. There are a few blond ones, but who really cares about them? Another important thing to note: some of them smell awful. I should mention that in this case and for every monster I mention from here on out, I will discuss possible logical explanations for these creatures. For the most part, however, I’ll just assume that they are real in some way, shape, or form; and I will share my knowledge and theories in that frame of mind. Saying that, yes, some Bigfoot sightings are misidentifications. People seeing bears standing on their hind legs is pretty common. Many of the footprints found, the very same footprints that gave Bigfoot its name, are hoaxes; people fashioning giant fake feet and stomping around in the woods. Some people have even taken photos of a supposed Bigfoot and it turns out that the photo was of blurry birds. Yes, it’s easy to mistake the ordinary for a Bigfoot. However, there’s got to be something strange going on in our world. In an attempt to make this less long-winded and drawn out, I’ll stick to the subject of the American Bigfoot, or Sasquatch. Hairy ape things have been seen in this country from the time that humans first lived here. Native Americans from all over the United States and Canada have been describing this creature primarily through oral legends. Before the North American Bigfoot was clumped together, each region of indigenous people had their own name for it. The name Sasquatch is a mistranslation of a Native American word for Bigfoot. The translation of most of these words came out to mean “wild man” or “hairy man.” You may have noticed that I seemed to cross the threshold into the human realm, but I assure you, I have not. Bigfoot is a bipedal humanoid, but certainly not a full on human. This will be discussed in more detail a little later on, but for now, let’s go back to the Native American legends. The great thing about the Sasquatch of early indigenous people, is that it was endowed with supernatural qualities. Many were seen as some kind of forest spirit. In some tribes it was used as a sort of boogey-man to make children behave. Some just ate children, some ate anyone, while some simply stole trout from fishermen’s nets. I can see why Bigfoot was regarded as a guardian of the forest, its visage is unique to North America and they very likely do border on the spirit realm. As mentioned before, paranormal boundaries get kind of fuzzy at times. However, as time went on, to humanity, Bigfoot became less of a mysterious spirit and more of a scientific wonder. This led us to believe that Bigfoot could somehow be the missing link. Maybe it was a human descendant who didn’t follow the same evolutionary path as us and didn’t end up as a homo-sapien. Bigfoot has certainly not vanished and it has not been completely disregarded as folklore; there have been thousands upon thousands of sightings over the years, up until present day. And now, I have to mention the Gimlin-Patterson film. You’ve all seen it; a few moments of a bulky creature walking away from the camera with a quick stride, turning its head to look at the camera, then marching off into the woods. The controversy surrounding this film is astounding, it could fill many books, and it’s something I don’t want to get into here. I’m writing about monsters, not arguments. I will say this: it’s interesting that the entity in the film turns its whole upper body when looking back, it doesn’t just use its neck. Either someone knows their primates well enough to recreation certain physical attributes, or we have something quite strange on our hands. I have mentioned Bigfoot first because I think it is the most likely monster that might prove to actually exist. There are a lot of woods and wilderness out there; I believe a substantial population could thrive in secret. I also think that there is enough evidence collected over the years that shows something odd is going on. While some critics can argue and use logic until they’re blue in the face, witnesses will believe they have seen it, and no amount of scientific reasoning will change their minds.
I will now go from the most-likely-to-exist monster to the least-likely-to-exist. You all know him, he’s the most popular monster in the world: Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Everyone seems to love this thing, many have bought into the hype, and tourists flock to this lake in droves to get a glimpse of this wonder of nature. This creature is popularly theorized to be a plesiosaurus, a living dinosaur. Some think it’s a freakishly large fish or eel. The Loch Ness Monster has a very long history, starting with Saint Columba in the 7th century, where he drove away the attacking monster with a prayer. This story is certainly not factual, but it is interesting to note that this story shows a long account of a strange fascination with the lake. It’s a pretty boring lake, as far as lakes go; not tremendously deep, longer than it is wide, murky, and kind of cold. However, there is something going on there that makes some people do a double take. Not all lakes have this power. While the story of Saint Columba may have started the epic Nessie story, the monster was all but forgotten until 1933, when a couple saw something strange move across the road, in front of their car, and into the lake. The monster was back, and ready to ignite the imagination of the world. The emergence of the famed “Surgeon’s Photograph” in 1934, served as definite proof to many people. It’s that picture that shows a long neck and a head. The monster was real, it was a dinosaur, and it was living right alongside people. Sighting continued, and people felt that they had real evidence to back them up. That is, until the photo was revealed as a hoax in 1994. This dealt a serious blow to the credibility of Nessie, but the sightings didn’t stop. There still had to be something there. The living dinosaur theory still persists today. This is where I begin to have questions. If there have been sightings since the 7th century, either dinosaurs live an insanely long amount of time, or, the lake boasts a breeding population to ensure its survival. I don’t think this is the case, in order for a bunch of dinosaurs to thrive for hundreds or thousands of years, there would need to be a huge amount of food in the loch. And there simply isn’t. It isn’t big enough, for one, and there just aren’t enough fish or eels, or whatever plesiosaurs eat. If there was a living, breathing population, there would be nothing living in the lake anymore, not after all these years. People would probably be attacked and eaten once the fish supply ran out. Since there are still fish in the lake, and very few people killed by monsters, the dinosaur theory just doesn’t add up. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t anything there. Not everyone can be mistaken, can they? If you remember, Saint Columba scared the monster by calling on God. This may lead us to something more sinister lurking in the depths. It’s a well known fact that Alestair Crowley, a famed Satanist and black magician, used to live on the shores of the loch in the late 1800s. Could it be possible that Mr. Crowley used some sort of conjuring skills to reawaken the evil entity that Saint Columba cast away centuries earlier? If that’s the case, then it kind of makes those cute little stuffed animals they make of Nessie seem a lot less cute. Most of the sightings are definitely sticks, eels, birds, or the wind; but something odd is connected with Loch Ness, and I think that the mystery of it all is the tell-tale sign of a monster.
On a similar note, I’d like to quickly mention Champ, North America’s Loch Ness Monster. The monster makes his home in Lake Champlain; a lake surrounded by New York, Vermont, and Quebec. Champ has a pretty long history as well. Native American tribes in the area have legends about this beast. Even the guy who the lake is named after supposedly had a run in with it in 1609. The Samuel de Champlain story is probably made up. What makes this story interesting is that the first actual sighting of Champ took place in 1883; 50 years before things started picking up at Loch Ness. The two lakes themselves are quite similar, about the same in depth, length, width, and temperature. It is important to remember that both lakes were formed by a receding glacier at the end of one ice age or another. Things have been frozen in ice before, but has anything actually survived the freezing and thawing process? Not that I know of. I really don’t think it’s too probable that a breeding population of plesiosaurs survived a glacier ride in two different places in the world, and then proceeded to live on for millions of years. But then again, something unusual is definitely going on. Maybe it has to do with the similarity of the lakes. Maybe the size and shape makes people more susceptible to delusions or something. I also don’t think that witchcraft or black magic has been practiced in abundance around Lake Champlain. But what do I know? I’ve never been there. So are they both demons? Is Champ the good counterpart to the evil Nessie? That’s too convoluted and bizarre for even me to understand, and I’m the one who wrote it. I will proceed to put Champ to rest for now and conclude with my opinion on the Native American tribes that have legends of this monster. They fished in that lake, they were more in tune with the natural world than we ever could be these days. If they said they saw something, I’m more inclined to believe them than anyone who sees it nowadays. Something was going on in Lake Champlain, I’m just not sure if it still is.
I could talk about living dinosaur legends forever, but I’ll stop with this one, the most interesting one in my opinion. Mokele-Mbembe, the one who stops the flow of rivers. This is not a lake monster, though it hangs out a lot in water. It lives in the Congo River basin. It is a part of native folklore, like all good monsters should be. Mokele-mbembe can be described as a saurpod. You know, the dinosaurs with the long necks and tails. Some think it’s just some elephants or hippos, but there are tales of this very territorial monster that describe it killing hippos that may get too close to it. The mokele-mbembe is also described by some Congo villages as a spirit. A ghost dinosaur, perhaps? Maybe an earth spirit of some kind? Westerners, as arrogant as we are, have to see it first hand before we believe it, natives simply don’t know what they’re talking about. So in 1776, a French missionary saw some giant footprints, about three feet around, with evidence of claw marks. In 1909, the creature was first suggested to be a living dinosaur, when some kind of lieutenant heard natives talk about a saurpod-like creature. This man was also shown an animal hide that supposedly belonged to a mokele-mbembe. Obviously, no definite conclusions were drawn from this experience. Since then, there have been quite a few expeditions into the Congo to find this creature, and they all have met with very little success. There could still be something out there. That area is intraversable in most cases, and vast areas remain unexplored. There could easily be a few large reptiles in that area of the world; hanging out, eating leaves, fighting with hippos. If it happens to be a spirit, that will make it just that much harder to find. The mokele-mbembe hasn’t achieved the popularity of certain lake monsters, probably because it’s hard to say its name; but I like the idea of it just the same.
So far, I’ve only mentioned monsters that have a long and rich history, but not all monsters are the stuff of ancient legends. In 1995 in Puerto Rico, eight sheep were found dead, killed, it seemed, all in the exact same way. Each sheep had three puncture wounds in its chest and they all seemed to be completely drained of blood. In August of that same year, about 150 animals were killed in a single town, all with three puncture marks and no blood. It was a Puerto Rican comedian who gave a name to this vampiric predator, the chupacabra, the goat sucker, and thus, a modern day legend was born. The chupacabra prefers to stick around Latin communities, but it occasionally ventures further out. Now this is a true monster; it kills livestock, it sucks their blood, and it’s even reported to have hypnotic abilities. It is reported to be able to lull its victims into a false sense of security. This is why the animals it kills seem to show no sign of struggle or panic, they simply seem to succumb to the chupacabra. There is even a sighting by a human, in which, after seeing the creature, she heard a calming voice in her head, telling her not to be afraid. However, the monster’s looks are anything but calming. It is reported to be three to four feet tall, with spines running down its back, it moves like a kangaroo, obviously has large fangs, and most strikingly, it has big, sometimes glowing, red eyes. The chupacabra, since it appeared on the scene in 1995, has dominated cryptozoology, the paranormal media, and monster sightings in the Americas. It has shown itself in popular culture and has made itself a household name. That’s just the chupacabra’s reputation, though. How do we really get to know the monster underneath all that hype? Why has it only appeared very recently? Where did it come from? Some theories suggest that it’s some sort of mutant-hybrid thing. A hybrid of what? Is it a result of genetic testing? I think a man-made monster still counts as a monster. It’s still mysterious and scary; it’s still not recognized by the scientific community. Other theories suggest that it’s an alien. I enjoy this theory. I like to imagine that it’s an escaped alien pet. But I don’t want to subject you to me entertaining my fantasies. Scientists and wildlife experts believe that the chupacabra is a sick dog. Yes, a sick dog with mange. This is a result of examining the carcasses of several “chupacabras” that were killed by farmers or hunters. These animals initially looked strange, but tests proved that the bodies were those of dogs or wolves with mange or parasites or both. The scientific community thought that this was the end of it, but, like all good monsters, you can’t get rid of them that easily. First of all, these downed animals don’t look anything like the chupacabras reported by witnesses. I have yet to see an alleged chupacabra with spikes running down its spine. The eyes aren’t big and red, they’re generally too small, and well, they look like sick dogs. This closed minded explanation completely ignores the fact that mange and parasites existed well before 1995. Are they trying to tell me that sick and wild dogs never attacked livestock before this date? I’m pretty sure that ranchers and farmers can identify a dog attack as opposed to an animal death that seems a little weirder. I’m pretty sure that it was more likely that people shot weird looking dogs since the first chupacabra attack. Now people are looking for monsters. I find it hard to believe that anyone would truly mistake a sick dog for a large fanged, spiky, hopping creature. Everyone who has a chupacabra sighting describes a reptile, everyone that shoots a chupacabra comes up with an ill mammal. And as far as I know, dogs don’t suck blood. It is most apparent with the case of the chupacabra, that scientist and wildlife experts are dismissing unconventional creatures too quickly. Isn’t the point of science to discover new things? Don’t they know that the rules don’t apply to everything every time? There’s a monster on the loose, and no amount of sick dogs will change that fact.
I will discuss less popular and more magical monsters in the future, as I seem to have touched on enough at the present time. Real monsters are more fun than they could ever be in the movies. They stay mysterious, they don’t infiltrate our society, they don’t talk, and there is nothing sexy about them, thankfully. There are monsters out there that have never been sighted, and some that have don’t ever neatly fit into a certain category. That’s the beauty of monsters. We see them, we hear them, we love them, and we fear them.
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